(he)Art and Soul

it started as a shallow night, but you have to wade awhile before you get to the drop-off. So this is my 2 AM stream. 

Anywho, what’s on my mind is the whole concept of being “conscious” and if that even means something anymore. Do people still say that? Ie: black consciousness, conscious rap/hip-hop, conscious poetry etc.

None of those terms hold weight to me anymore. For years I didn’t listen to the radio because I was tired of hearing collabs featuring Lil Wayne or another Beyonce song. I like Talib Kweli, Mos Def, The Roots, E Badu and the like… but without feeling guilty I admit that I like Drake, Kanye, Ludacris and some other super mainstream, evil, mysogynistic music corporation money-makers. As far as music goes, I just want to get the feeling that you are creating art that is true to the artist.

But about the whole “conscious” movement… Where was/is it supposed to take us, or has it already had it’s affect? Acceptance/tolerance of other lifestyles is becoming the status quo. “Cool to be smart” is a phrase that I wish was being ingrained into black men as quickly as it has into black women.

It just seems that more people are socially conscious but still lack a healthy amount of self-conscious introspection. They don’t know what they believe, and still lack an identity.

Of course, this is excluding the tumblr community that has created a world of potentially infinite windows into unique human experiences, opinions, souls. Pages filled with posts exposing the persons nature, beliefs, and what they adore. 

Still, what kind of expression of the soul is found in post after post of cat, after cat, after GIF of movie clip with expression that matches the expression you made when you saw the boy throw the cat.

Everyone follows to be different. What’s the point of being unique if no one is watching.

ronstormer:

Consent is easy when you’re a billionaire.

The neighbors got my wife reading this shit….. Billionaire=modern day knight in shining armor I suppose. Something to escape the mundane.

I hate when people are like “only dogs can give you love and affection, cats are cold and elusive” like okay dog person if you had ever actually owned a cat you would know they are the neediest fucking creatures on the planet

cats will literally sit on your head until you pay attention to them

So, here it goes. My first original thought on Tumblr.

……………..

>damnit<

hmm….

So I had this dream where one of my best friends and I were both apart of the same soul. (same soul different embodiments/facets and much different personalities) He and I were both talking to the representations of my ex(s). He had made amateur videos and we were watching them with the girls. I came to realize right before waking up that they all loved him, because he would say everything they wanted to hear, inspite of the fact that he had taken advantage of each one and used her however he wished. I also noticed that each one treated me with hostility, when I’d express how i truly felt about them.

I had to reflect on this for a bit when I awoke. I was like my buddy when I was with any single one of those girls. I would say whatever I thought would make them feel special, wanted, appreciated, loved… And when I was tired of playing whatever game I was playing with them, their feelings were no longer my concern and I would sometimes say things that I can look back now and see were hurtful. But I also treat them as my friend did in the dream: with adoration, treating them as though they are fragile when I know I am just about to break something that could not be repaired or cross a line that can I cannot come back from.

Also each one of those girls in the dream had a close friend with them. That friend acted as their guard dog, and kept the me who looked like me away… Making sure I wasn’t close enough to their friends to cause harm, but I would ask myself “, Don’t they all see that he is the true danger? A man that only Always sees a perfect vision of you, and forces that idea on you even though it isn’t real?”

So my only thoughts now are on my dream. I see the beauty in you. All of you. Just don’t hate me for seeing your imperfection. My love, I’ll give it to whoever I want.